Pursuit of Peace in the Chaos

"That's just life," they say as they try to validate your stress about being stretched too thin.

"Welcome to being an adult," they say as you try to explain the burden you feel about being unable to pay the bills.

"Welcome to parenthood," they say as your children backtalk and tell you they like being at their friend's house better than their own.

These phrases are most commonly said while being tied to some type of negative connotation.

Are we really just going to accept this?

I'm sorry, I just can't. This isn't what we were designed for....

I thought life was designed to be enjoyed, adulthood a phase of life to embrace, and parenthood a title to take pride in and cherish.

Am I wrong?

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Corey and I have been married for almost seven years, and in that short amount of time, we have seen many different seasons of life.

I say that we like to keep people on their toes, and I think most people that know us would say we've done just that.

From an unexpected pregnancy to marriage during college, navigating new careers, switching to completely different ones, buying and selling a house in 8 months during a second pregnancy, a cross-country move, navigating Hollywood as parents of a child actor, running a small business, etc., to say our lives have been a wild ride would be an understatement.

I can't say that we are experts at navigating the chaos. In fact, it's probably the opposite. We have both fallen victim to wishing away days of our lives, failing at adulthood, and being anything but present with our kids.

Because of the crazy rollercoaster that we've been on, a lot of our days have been lived in survival mode trying to catch all that life throws at us, and until recently, we just accepted that as our reality.

Whether it be sporting events or work events, the thought of having a sense of calm during preparation has seemed like a distant daydream. Most days you can find us rushing around, cutting it way too close on time usually because of a lost shoe crammed somewhere we didn't think to look, or maybe a missed alarm clock. More often than not, our house is a cluster of random toys, scattered books bags, and clean laundry laying around. We are often stretched too thin on time, money, patience, and anything else that might give us a sense of sanity. From sun up to sun down we have become accustomed to living to simply react to the next task at hand.

And it's of no fault but our own due to our belief that "That's just life."

Get up, be a parent, react.
Eat, go to work, react, react, react.
Come home, cook dinner, clean, react.
Collapse into bed in complete exhaustion.

Is it just us? Can anyone relate?

We've pushed, and persevered, and exhausted ourselves to many breaking points. We've accepted simply treading water as a way of life, but we are learning this doesn't have to be our reality.

Contrary to the popular belief, and even our own belief until recently, that's not "Just life."

It doesn't have to be that way even if everyone around you says, "That's just the way it is."

We are learning that we can create the pace and style of life that best suits us, and still be successfully productive human beings.

We are tired of reacting.

We can have a super full schedule without being completely depleted.

And you can too.

We're not saying that things will be perfect, but they also don't have to be dreadful. Of course, obstacles are going to come up. There will be things that are beyond our control, but we refuse to accept a daily struggle for survival as a way of life.  That's not living, and we know that we have the power to change it, so we will.

For now, our lives are still full of crazy days spent in survival mode, but we are sorting through it, and we are finding peace in knowing that with some effort and mindset shifts, it can get better.

We are plugging into systems and resources that are teaching us that there is a better way of living. It is possible to live a full life without killing ourselves. We can have chaos, and simultaneously have peace. We can have messes, and simultaneously radiate calmness.

We truly believe that it is possible to have a home that's a powerhouse and also a paradise.

We are going to figure it out, because quite frankly, the other option isn't working for us.

When we say, "That's just life," "Welcome to being an adult," or "Welcome to parenthood," we want to be pointing people to a beautiful picture of abundance, prosperity, and peace. Not survival, disarray, and mayhem.

It simply doesn't have to be the latter.

We want those phrases to be pointing to joy.

We want to find peace in the chaos.

Don't you?

Let's change the stigma together.

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Stay tuned for the systems that we find working for us in our pursuit of a life of peaceful chaos.